In Which Sally and Sherlock are Total Dorks
by That-Flying-Breadstick-Wizard
Summary: In which Sally and Sherlock are both dorky fangirls who enjoy screwing with Scotland Yard's heads and watching an american TV show called Supernatural. Using their newly found shared interest, they proceed to reference, quote, and smirk their way into a friendship of sorts- and odd, twisted friendship built on mutual respect, mutual obsession, and mutual joy in pranking people.


**First published story. Sorry about how horrible it is. Yes, this is crack. Pure guilty pleasure.**

 **Feautring** ** _NotThatMuchOfABitch!Sally_** **and** ** _DorkyFangirl!Sherlock_**

 **Also** ** _ExtremelyConfusedAndHorrified!Anderson_**

 _ **In which Sally and Sherlock are both dorky fangirls who enjoy screwing with Scotland Yard's heads and watching an american tv show called Supernatural.**_

 _ **Using their newly found shared interest, they proceed to reference, quote, and smirk their way into a friendship of sorts- and odd, twisted friendship built on mutual respect, mutual obsession, and mutual joy in pranking people.**_

The crime scene went completely silent, disgust, frustration, horror, and anger warring for control in the air.

Sally gaped at the Freak.

He was so insensitive! Cold, impolite, inhuman, even!

He didn't even seem to know what he'd just said was not only incredibly rude but also very hurtful. He just carried on examining the body and the scene, ignoring them. John, sadly, wasn't here to tell him off. He seemed to notice the silence, because after a tense moment of disbelief from the officers, he straightened, glancing at them all. "What?" he snapped.

Sally scowled. "You- you're such a...!" she huffed, searching for adequate words to describe the frustration brimming from her. Finally, the first insult she could think of burst out of her- "You... ASSBUTT!" she exclaimed.

The crime scene went silent again, still with shock, disappointment, and incredulity. Anderson gave her a look that clearly said "Really? That's all you got?"

But Sherlock got a very strange look on his face.

Then his lips curled into smirk, and he said in an almost quiet voice, amusement coloring his tone:

"Bitch."

A few people gasped. Some people's eyes widened. Everyone looked shocked.

Lestrade put his face in his hands. "Oh, god." he groaned.

But then something even odder happened- Sally's lips twisted into a matching smirk and she replied, "Jerk."

Sherlock's shit-eating grin widened.

Everyone stared openly.  
~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

The next case, when Sherlock came on to the crime scene, (John was still gone on his "vacation") he purred in a low voice, "Hello, boys."

Everyone stared. Lestrade opened his mouth to ask if Sherlock was okay, but Sally replied without looking up, "Ah, the King of Hell."

Sherlock smirked. "Does that make you an Angel of the Lord?"

Sally shrugged, glanced up at them, still smiling that smug little grin. "Nah, everyone knows they're just dicks with wings."

"Quite true, darling." he replied, still examining the body.

Then he straightened, turning to Lestrade. "This is ridiculously easy. It was the brother." He glanced around at them. "Idjits."

Sally gave him a genuine smile on his way out.

He returned it.

Several officers went to the local therapist to get their heads checked.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

During that case, at one of the crime scenes, when Donovan made a snide comment (but she didn't sound disgusted or angry or _anything_ , what the hell was going on?!), Sherlock got really close to her face and said in a low, gravelly voice, "I'm the one who pulled you out of Hell, I can put you back in."

He narrowed his eyes. "You'd best show me some _respect."_

She pushed him away. "Personal space, Cas." she said lightly.

He smirked right back, before turning away with a sweep of his coat and acting like nothing had happened.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

Later, Sherlock casually asked Sally if she was the Queen of Moons.

She replied saying that he was her handmaiden.

He told her that made Molly Gilda.

They both frowned at that.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

When they solved the case, Sherlock had gone on one of his lengthy, detailed rants, revealing the killer to have been a delusional neighbor.

When he pretty much revealed the man's entire life to the officers, the man had whispered in a horrified tone, "What even are you?!"

Sherlock had responded in a deeper-than-usual tone, "I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition."

Sally had chuckled.

The killer had just gaped, shocked and terrified.

The officers just stared.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

A few cases later, Sherlock nearly took a bullet for Donovan.

"Why'd you do that?!" she'd shouted, half shocked and half angry.

"Good things do happen, Sally." he'd replied.

She rolled her eyes, but played along (with whatever it was they'd been doing). "Not in my experience."

He leaned towards her, narrowing his eyes. "What's the matter?" he cocked his head. "...You don't think you deserve to be saved." he said. It wasn't a question.

"Then why'd you do it?" she asked.

"Because God has work for you!" Sherlock declared dramatically.

After a moment of the few officers nearby staring (Lestrade looked like he might faint) the two started laughing.

Everyone was sure they'd gone mad.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

Anderson cornered Sally soon after that.

"Are you FRIENDS with the Freak?" demanded Anderson in a slightly horrified tone.

Sally shrugged. "Maybe. He's still a Freak, though."

"But then... why do you two still hate each other?!"

Sherlock interrupted, popping his head around the corner.

"Oh, I torture all my friends. It's how I show love!" he said brightly.

"Shut it, demon." snorted Sally.

There was no malice in either tone.

Anderson was extremely concerned.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

Lestrade arrived outside of 221b with a case. John wasn't far behind him, having caught a cab from the hospital. Lestrade knocked on the door. John, apparently, had forgotten his key. After some shuffling from behind the door, Mrs. Hudson opened it and smiled, welcoming them in. "Sherlock's upstairs, I think he's doing something. He hasn't made much noise, it's actually a bit unusual." she said.

Lestrade and John glanced at each other in alarm.

They quickly headed up the stairs, throwing up the door- only to see the most shocking and unexpected sight yet.

Sitting on the couch was Sally Donovan (of all people!) crying her eyes out, mascara running, clutching a mug of hot chocolate close to her chest. Next to her was Sherlock, ( _holy shit he was crying_ ) also holding a warm mug of hot chocolate. Both had their eyes trained on the TV and a blanket wrapped around their shoulders.

Credits were rolling.

"That isn't fair! They can't do that!" wailed Sally.

Sherlock patted her shoulder consolingly. "They'll fix it. Probably. They always do, in the end."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

Apparently, they'd just walked into an alternate universe.

Sally sniffed. "He's a _demon_. You can't just- just _fix_ that! And Cas- Cas is dying- and-!"

John cleared his throat loudly. "Are we interrupting something, then?"

"Yes!" they both snapped at the same time, whipping their heads around and glaring.

After a moment of staring from both parties, they seemed to realize that _HEY wait a minute that's Lestrade and John!_

"Oh, we were just-!"

"An- uh, experiment-"

"-Supernatural, and-"

"-the Freak surprised me-"

"-I didn't expect-"

"-must admit, it's rather-"

"-Bitch-"

"-Jerk-"

The two's speech overlapped into a confusing jumble before Lestrade yelled, "QUIET!"

They both went silent.

Sherlock pouted and sipped from his mug.

Sally was blushing slightly, though she tried to hide it by taking a long drink from her hot chocolate.

"What are you even doing?! Watching something?" he demanded.

Sherlock and Sally exchanged devilish, knowing grins.

"How about you find out?" asked Sherlock. Sally waved a disc set proclaiming on the cover: "SUPERNATURAL: SEASON ONE", an evil grin growing on her face.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

That's how the four (Once converted, Lestrade and John were quite happy to join in on the joke) fucked with Scotland Yard's heads.

They made constant quotes, references, insults, everything from the show.

They doodled devil's traps on paperwork, wore anti-possession temporary tattoos, and hummed Metallica at crime scenes. They referred to themselves as "Team Free Will" and when a pair of brothers had both been suspects all four had refused to call them anything but 'Moose and Squirrel'.

John was more subtle than the other three (Although he was the one responsible for the red-painted devil's trap under Anderson's desk) but Sherlock and Sally enjoyed more blatant abuse of power: drawing an angel banishing sigil in (pig's) blood in broad daylight, bickering in Latin (Sally had taken a college course, Sherlock was Sherlock), once even as going as far as to replace Sherlock's coat with a tan overcoat and his scarf with a messed up blue tie while Sally got detailed marker drawings of the djinn tattoos all over.

The few times Mycroft dropped by, even Sherlock was surprised when he played along. He helped them achieve several great GISHWHES items.

(He may have even worn the sock monkey hat.)

Sherlock even got Irene into it (They were all shocked to see her alive, especially John, and Anderson seemed dumbfounded by her romantic and sexual relationship with Sherlock) Sally liked her. She was sassy and had a backbone. (Also she kept Sherlock in line, because he may be her sort-of-okay-yeah-he-is friend, but didn't make him any less of a prick.)

Irene introduced herself to the yard by sauntering in, arm in Sherlock's, both with special contacts that gave them pure black eyes.

Anderson had pissed his pants.

When Lestrade appeared and "exorcised" them, Sally and John laughed way too hard.

~~ooOoo~~LINE BREAK~~ooOoo~~

...And so that's the tale of how Sally Donovan and Sherlock Holmes developed an odd friendship that puzzled Scotland Yard to the point of madness. The small group of dorks went on to induct several other officers until half of the Yard actively freaked out the other half.

(When GISHWHES came around the next year, chaos reigned.)

Enthusiastic pranks, crowded marathons, and someone organized a costume party every Halloween (Sherlock pretended not to notice the plans on Mycroft's desk, especially when Anthea unexpectedly showed up with a "The Devil Made Me Do It" shirt and bright red hair at the party.)

Anderson still has no idea what's going on.

 **I know, I know, it's terrible, but Ah, well, it was fun, so whatever!**

 **Total crack, because who doesn't want their favorite characters to be as big of a dork as they are?**

 **Also, the reason Sally and Sherlock got so friendly towards each other so fast is because they'd _been_ having Supernatural marathons (it originally started thanks to unfortunate accident involving a banana, Mycroft, a can of tomato soup, and a large tube of bright green glitter), not just like, *snap!* "Oh, we're friends now!"**


End file.
